Insignificant.Insanity

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

I've come to realize that I'm nearly dead.
Maybe not physically. You can't see that I'm near mental death, but really, truly I am.
Possibly the only reason I still grasp it is becasue of those few people.
Those few people who when I look at them, I see the world. I see love. I smile again.
Thank you.

I've also recently dicovered this huge amount of loathing I have for myself.
I hate myself, the way I look, the way I act, the way I am. I am truly ugly.
Fuck off, and dont say otherwise. Your lying.

RIP
Khrystyne Nicole Nightingale
April 14th 1991
*insert date here*
Im Gone.

I fell asleep in the shower today. After my realization of my near death.
I put in the plug, so that the water wouldnt go down the drain. I awoke with the water at my bare chest.
I turned off the water and soaked myself. I thought about him, although, thats normal. I remember his arm, the scars. I cannot get that image out of my head, I felt like crying, I still do.

"It takes away the pain" he said.

I wish I could take away his pain, but I dont know if thats what I am to him. Someone who he can come to when in need of some love, and a talking too. I wish I was the drug he went to when he needed it. But, I'm not. I dont know what I'm worth to him. All I know is, hes worth everything to me. I hope I mean the same to him. Im going now.

*love*

posted at 8:22 PM _________________________________________________________________

Insignificant Insanity
\| home\| blog\| nexus\| comment\| design\| Wednesday, January 19, 2005 I've come to realize that I'm nearly dead. Maybe not physically. You can't see that I'm near mental death, but really, truly I am. Possibly the only reason I still grasp it is becasue of those few people. Those few people who when I look at them, I see the world. I see love. I smile again. Thank you. I've also recently dicovered this huge amount of loathing I have for myself. I hate myself, the way I look, the way I act, the way I am. I am truly ugly. Fuck off, and dont say otherwise. Your lying. RIP Khrystyne Nicole Nightingale April 14th 1991 insert date here Im Gone. I fell asleep in the shower today. After my realization of my near death. I put in the plug, so that the water wouldnt go down the drain. I awoke with the water at my bare chest. I turned off the water and soaked myself. I thought about him, although, thats normal. I remember his arm, the scars. I cannot get that image out of my head, I felt like crying, I still do. "It takes away the pain" he said. I wish I could take away his pain, but I dont know if thats what I am to him. Someone who he can come to when in need of some love, and a talking too. I wish I was the drug he went to when he needed it. But, I'm not. I dont know what I'm worth to him. All I know is, hes worth everything to me. I hope I mean the same to him. Im going now. love posted at 8:22 PM _________________________________________________________________	=myself= Khrystyne Known as: Mini Cara Music, Art, Writing, Guitar, Alcohal =folk= Beautiful. Emo. Liar. Dramatic. Heartbroken. =behind myself= november. december. january. =appreciation= maystar design powered by blogger comments by bravenet
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