[Music] - {Last Rock Show - Bowling For Soup}
yeah...bowling for soup...its a guilty pleasure....FUCK YOU.
I almost fell asleep with him today. wow. it was beautiful. we were together. just him and i. amazing. i wanted that moment to last forever. it was so beautiful. i cant stop thinking about it. *sigh*...we kissed. we hugged. we cuddled. we sexed. we were snug. it was amazing. the best part of it all was the sex was not just SEX. it was making love. L-O-V-E. our love its so amazing. so fantastic. so true. he bought me a dress today. im wearing it on christmas dinner. its very pretty. very simple. very me. he paid $70. im angry at him for that reason. i dont want him spending that much money on me. hes too good to me. were so in love. i met his family today. theyre really nice. i *heart* his mom. she was so nice to me. and she said i was beautiful. it made me feel welcome. i feel accepted. its a grand feeling. i cant wait till next time i go to his house. more cuddling. more kissing. more hugging. more love. more AJ...
On another note - what do you do when your drifting away from one of your best friends? its a horrible feeling. someone you love no longer has the same love for you. i dont know whats happeneing, all i know is that its not good. im worrying. i dont want our friendship to die. it was so good at the beginning of november. and then this month its been blah. where is he? my friend? my best friend? where is our friendship? is it gone? no it isnt. its just delayed. maybe hes just angry at me. was it the photo-paper? it couldnt be just that. maybe its my realtionship with AJ. if it is then i dont know what im going to do. i couldnt choose id rather die. im not joking. id rather wither away and die then have to choose between my bestfriend and my boyfriend. because both, i love so incredibly much. they mean so much to me. i think he feels hes bing used. he isnt. maybe he feels avoided. he isnt. maybe he feels like hes in the way... maybe these are my feelings. they are. i cant help it. i feel of such insignificant value to him. possibly because im younger, maybe because i feel im intruding on his other friends and their realationship...i dont know. im so confused about him. *sigh* help me figure it out...please.
*love*
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